Putting myself out there changed my life and this blog is for that

I’ve always been someone who prefers to stay unnoticed

To me that makes sense. It feels like the smartest thing to do. Exposure comes with a lot of dangers, both practical and subjective.

When I put myself out there, I get watched, I receive criticism, I can create expectations in other people. Along with that comes anxiety and guilt for not delivering what they expect from me.

Even with that mindset, since I was a kid I’ve tried to put myself out there, without thinking too much about why.

I’ve had YouTube channels, Facebook pages - one of them was about tech and had the memorable name “Super Programas do Joel”, SPJ for short. Back then I started to play more with computers, editing HTML on web pages and writing little batch programs on Windows.

But of course those channels and pages are gone. I was afraid of exposure. Even though I tried, still without understanding why, I gave up on those projects very quickly.

My history with projects I start and never finish is long, a topic for a future post. But what I want to say with this brief background is that fear of exposure stopped me, for a long time, from doing what I wanted and from enjoying benefits that were still unknown to me.

My career began, and still moves, because I put myself out there

My first job came “out of nowhere”.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, I started studying web development and, because of that, I joined communities of other people doing the same. Back then I found Rafaella Ballerini’s channel (a hug to you, if you’re reading this) and joined her Discord community. There I interacted almost every day. I talked to a lot of people, shared what I was learning, asked questions, answered questions, and did everything people do in communities like that.

Over time, that participation brought me closer to the server staff and, a few weeks later, I was there in a channel dedicated to moderator conversations.

Being in that community, interacting, and sharing time and knowledge with other people got me a job.

It was on a random day when Rafa shared that Gabriel Pato (you probably know him) had discovered her channel and was looking for someone to build the platform for his course “Do Bug ao Bounty”. She promptly recommended me.

I worked on that project for the next two years. An opportunity that, in fact, didn’t come “out of nowhere”, but from the fact that I put myself out there.

Exposure made me grow without me noticing

More recently, I woke up one day and decided I needed to change the way I relate to people.

In 2023, I realized I had been living on autopilot since the start of the pandemic. It’s a very useful defense mechanism, ideal for “living one day at a time”, but in the long run it undermined my ability to desire, plan, and achieve anything in my life.

So, trying to get off autopilot, I decided to put myself out there more, this time aware of what I was doing. In college, I started talking to freshmen. With friends, I started showing more vulnerability.

Around that time, I had the habit of writing every day, which helped me understand myself better and talk about my feelings, almost like therapy.

The results were surprising. In 2023, I made new friends, strengthened my connection with the friends I already had, and got rid of the idea in my head that exposing myself wasn’t worth the risk. I had the support of many people who probably don’t even know how grateful I am for something they did.

Putting myself out there has always made me grow like that, I just didn’t notice.

Putting myself out there allowed me to start over

I was laid off in mid-2023.

During the time I was at my last job, I didn’t put effort into developing skills beyond those required for work. I was comfortable, only worrying about staying in college and delivering what I needed for the week.

That was, obviously, a mistake. Another topic for a future post.

With no job, no concrete proof of my knowledge outside of work, and, to top it off, now seeking a role as a developer instead of a UX designer (which I had been doing for the previous two years), I barely knew where to start.

In that period, I went back to being fully supported by my mother, who, thank God, could keep me studying far from home. I’m very grateful for that. Love you, mom.

To find a new job, I did what everyone does: I chased the deficit, studied from the fundamentals, created resumes, looked for jobs on LinkedIn, applied. But what changed the game was putting my face out there - in other words, exposing myself.

I heard from a friend - Beatriz, who I met in the saga of exposing myself more to people at the beginning of the year - that a startup incubated at our university might be looking for a developer intern.

Some time earlier, I had given a presentation in Software Engineering class about product development processes, specifically how that startup managed its processes. The startup in question is NexAtlas, where I work now, and I believe how I ended up here actually began with a question after that presentation, to the company’s CTO.

I asked Cristiano (the CTO and who gave the presentation) the question on LinkedIn after the presentation. It was a short interaction of question, response, and thanks.

But that short interaction, months later, was the starting point for a new conversation.

That conversation started because a friend told me about the opportunity. Someone I wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t put myself out there.

By the way, that friend, Beatriz, is now my girlfriend (hi, love!).

So why have a blog in 2025?

I think if someone asked that question, it would already be answered by now.

This blog will be an open book about my ideas, thoughts, and learnings - not only about technology or personal life, but about whatever is on my mind when I write. And the blog format is simply for practicality.

Exposure does have its risks. But after all this time fearing it, now I’m open to whatever comes, good or bad.

That said,

Hello, World!